Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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