The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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