i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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