when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
