This girl is more easily done than said...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
