I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
time to smoke my breakfast
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
