i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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