I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
