Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
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