If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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