she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
