Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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