GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
