There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
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then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
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I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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