worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
