You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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