I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
