are you still at the devil's house?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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