Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
