I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He kissed a someone with a penis
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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