nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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