My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
