So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
