If i come over, it means nothing
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
