my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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