is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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