Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
