It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
