i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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