Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
