i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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