That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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