But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
