I need help removing her.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
