Sry I called you an 8
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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