I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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