Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
