Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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