just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
