I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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