I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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