I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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