It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
