we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
