Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
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I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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