i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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