Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
