...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
