what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
