I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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