I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
