ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
