We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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