Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
