a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize