You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
