I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize