grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
