talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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