What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dick very happy bro
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
