I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The air was thick with penises
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
