I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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