based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
