He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
