i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
