Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
there is glitter all over my balls
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
